I’m going to a Board of Elders meeting tomorrow night and thank you for your insight Brian.

http://www.thefaithfulword.org/divorcesecondwife.html

The Word of God clearly states that to remarry is to commit an act of adultery. And although repentance is clearly called for it does not say what the already remarried should do with their married relationship. And to be sure there were remarried people in the New Testament church. If it were a true matter of grave concern, in fact a heaven and hell issue as some say, I am sure the Word would say something like, “And to the remarried I give the following command from the Lord, you are to separate and discontinue marital relations for they are adultery in the eyes of the Lord.”

I was very blessed to see that you and others have come to the same conclusion.

Well, my wife has been away all this week and is coming home on the weekend, and we plan to spend some time together.

Things just might get . . . umm . . . interesting (he says with a smile.)

When Christ died on the cross, it’s that sacrifice that paid for our sins, once and for all. (Hebrews) He cleanses us from all unrighteousness according to the Word. (I John) Therefore, when we are in Christ we are a new creation, the old has gone the new has come. (II Corinthians 5)

The Holy Spirit convicted you of your sin, so what now? Do you violate the Scripture in regards to Christian marriage (to fulfill the marital duties to your wife as mentioned in I Corinthians 7, Genesis 2, and Exodus 21) in order to keep from violating the Scriptures the other way in a remarriage that constituted adultery? You’re in a bind my friend, and you have dealt with it in a way that fears the Lord, but I believe the Lord is not so cruel or hard toward you as a few teach. They go beyond what the Scripture actually says.

Nowhere does the Bible, or Paul in I Corinthians 7 when he is giving all sorts of instructions regarding marriage and divorce, ever say “separate and quit having sex, you are living in adultery.” The Bible does not say that. Anywhere.

And the people in Corinth, some of them had 25 divorces. Some were slaves that would be separated from their wife by force. Some were like the Jews who divorced for anything they found “unpleasing” which led Jesus to tell them that such divorce was sin except in cases of marital unfaithfulness (sexual immorality, adultery)

Yet not one time does Jesus or Paul or anyone teach to quit having sex with your wife because of a past divorce. And Jesus and Paul were speaking to people with past divorces.

In Matthew 5 and 19, Mark 10 etc…Mar 10:11 Jesus says to put away your wife and marry another makes you an adulterer. Mark writes “He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. What made you guilty of adultery was act of the re-marriage itself. Joining with another, was unfaithfulness to the first. That, like many other sins, has already happened. It’s done, and can be repented of and forgiven.

And it doesn’t change the fact that you have “joined” with your current wife. The sin was against the first wife, because you have joined with another but do you therefore break asunder another marriage as well? You have indeed joined with the woman in your second marriage. It’s a physical fact as God created us for in Genesis. I believe the second marriage certainly “counts” as a real marriage, even if it was a sin against your first wife.

Here are some respected comments from people besides me:

In the Believers Bible Commentary, the writer says:
—-If these people are living in a state of adultery, then they would not only have to confess their sin but also forsake their present partner. But God’s solution for a problem is never one that creates worse problems. If, in order to untangle a marital snarl, men or women are driven into sin, or women and children are left homeless and penniless, the cure is worse than the disease.

In the writer’s opinion, Christians who have been divorced unscripturally and then remarried can truly repent of their sin and be restored to the Lord and to the fellowship of the church.—-

In John MacArthur’s Opinion:
—–Now, there’s only one other category. And some of you are sitting there saying ‑ Ummmm, I’ve got a problem … because I got a divorce that wasn’t legitimate when I was a Christian, I fouled up my marriage when I was a Christian … I am an adulterer or an adulteress … I remarried when I had no grounds‑‑what is my status? Well, you’re a sinner. Welcome to the club. If you’ve already violated God’s laws as a Christian, if you were illegitimately divorced, illegitimately remarried when you had no grounds, if you’re in a union that the Bible defines as an adulterous union, you have only one recourse… that is, to confess the sin, tell God the sorrow of your heart, and stay in that same union and see if God will not make sweet out of the bitter…honey out of the lion’s body.

You see, if we confess our sins He’s faithful and just to… what?…forgive us our sins. And it’s easy for us who haven’t had sin in that area to sit in judgment on those because we forget the sins of our own life. And God’s in the sin‑forgiving business … Matthew 12:31 says: “All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven you.”

One pastor suggested that if that’s your case you’ve got to divorce the adulterous partner and try to get back with the other one… don’t do that. That you cannot unscramble the egg… stay where you are, confess it, repent and thank God for the grace that you’re still alive and make the most out of the union you have.——-

And I would simply point to I Corinthians again:

I Corinthians 7:15
God has called us to live in peace.

I John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

So what I believe for you my brother, is that if you have recognized your past sin, confessed it to the Lord then He has cleansed you from your unrighteousness. Your job now is to be the best husband you can be in all ways to your wife and not to repeat the sins of the past.

May God bless you and your wife, and may God forgive me if I have said anything contrary to His will.

1Co 7:10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband.
1Co 7:11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

Paul wasn’t saying it was always OK for her to leave her husband, just recognizing that it does happen sometimes. Sometimes the people he was writing to had no choice: They might be slaves who are married to each other and their master sells one of them to another slave owner. That happened a lot in the early church, and slaves were often separated whether they wanted to be or not. (slaves also were not allowed official marriage ceremonies like we have although God still recognized their marriage) Other times, separation has to happen because of an abusive situation. Sometimes, circumstances split people up, and sometimes people simply disobey God and leave for more sinful reasons. But it does happen.

So when Paul said, “but if she does” he didn’t mean it was always OK, but he understood it DOES happen sometimes. And if the wife left for wrong reasons, then he didn’t want her to add ANOTHER sin to everything by marrying another person. One sin would be bad enough, two is worse.

In your situation, you are right, sometimes you have to seek God’s direction in a difficult situation where there doesn’t seem to be a clear answer. So I encourage you to make this decision with God through prayer and the Word.

…because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. -Romans 8:14

It sounds like she has left you, and is currently involved in another religion as well? You might think about considering what else I Corinthians 7 says:

I Co 7:12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her.
1Co 7:13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.
1Co 7:14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
1Co 7:15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.

It seems from your question that she is certainly an unbeliever now. Neither is she keeping to the Word of the Lord which says in the very same chapter:

1Co 7:3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.
1Co 7:4 The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.
1Co 7:5 Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
-I Corinthians 7:3-5

and even in Old Testament times when polygamy was practiced:

If he marries another woman, he must not deprive the first one of her food, clothing and marital rights.
-Exodus 21:10

and the design of God in the beginning that the man and wife shall be united

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
-Genesis 2:24

So from what you’ve said, her separation from you and her rejection of the Christian faith are both wrong. I would tend to believe that since she is an unbeliever, you are not bound under such circumstances.