I’ve edited this to protect the innocent, but I thought this was some great insight on the problem with getting singles and especially guys to attend church. You don’t have to agree, but think about it. This guy is single, young, and not a preacher. It’s worth taking into consideration…
Ok, I got a few comments/thoughts…
I got thinking about (while getting ready this morning) why 18-24 year olds don’t come to church, especially single ones. Single guys want to be around single girls or vice versa, or single guys want company of single guys and single girls want company of single girls (in other words people want to be around people like them). But church is mostly made up of older people, kids, and families (both young and old). So single girls/guys that are early 20’s don’t relate real well with the young couples in church that have kids which often talk a lot about kids, kid’s activities, and what type of mini-van to purchase to haul the kids.
I think the chances of young women coming to church are higher than young men coming to church because I feel the church is . . . sorta feminine. I realized this idea after reading an article in Christian Standard back in Oct. 2006. It explained how a lot of things in church really cater toward the female spectrum rather than the male, and I agree. First off, look at most church buildings. Warm colors on the walls, lavenders, reds, gold, etc. We have pinkish/red pews, and quilts hanging up in some classrooms!! Look at most praise music (and this is a big one for me). Christian music is soft and gentle. Even pop/rock more mainstream, a lot of the artist’s use the same soft vocals, with some edgier riffs and beats, but the voices all blend together. Unless they’re a unique sounding artist, I can’t hardly tell one Christian band from the other. (a few exceptions, such as third day). Then the lyrics in the song. Savior, loving Jesus, praise God, Hallelujah, He holds me in his arms???? Singing songs about loving a guy that will hold me when I’m hurting, might not be attractive to a young 21 year old guy. Once you become a Christian and understand it, then it’s not so bad, but coming in off the street and hearing that sounds a little strange. Then you listen to a message about Jesus that paints this picture of a peaceful, perfect man that sometimes comes across as meek and mild. Pictures show Him in white, with halos, carrying lambs, etc. Again, not a picture that gets guys really excited.
[Jesus is also] more of a warrior riding into battle, flames coming out of the eyes, slashing demons to pieces. Same with angels. Are they nice guys wearing white with little golden halos, or are they an all powerful warrior that a single angel could wipe out the U.S. military? Most guys are attracted to the latter!!
Young single guys are influenced greatly by testosterone and how other people view them. Yes, guys like action and excitement, that’s why we love action movies, skiing, motorcycle riding, bass pumping music, etc. But, I think how other people view them plays a big part on why guys do the things they do and why they might avoid church. They might do all the action stuff (whether they really like it or not) partly because how it makes them look. It makes them cool to other guys and it makes them cool to girls (at least guys think girls like that, whether they really do or not?) But when a 21 year old guy walks into church, everyone is dressed up in nice clothes, singing happy songs about loving Jesus, and they’re planning a trip to men’s fellowship with guys that are 20-30 years older where they’ll dress up in more nice clothes and sing more happy songs . . all of a sudden it’s not appealing. And they sure don’t want to brag about that to a girl they’re trying to impress. When she asks what he did over the weekend he might say, “Went and watched Die Hard, played football with the guys, rode the motorcycle down to Arkansas, and booked a sky diving trip.” but more than likely church might not get mentioned. However once a guy is in a relationship or married, then the ego isn’t at risk and they’re more open to church. All of a sudden the weekend is, “We went to Lowe’s and picked out a nice eggshell paint, mowed the yard, and went to church on Sunday. 🙂
Anyway, the point of the article in Christian Standard was to cater toward the men, and the women will follow, because there’s still things that attract them there and females are more likely to go to church anyway. It worked well for the church featured in the article and I can see why.